Month Three

24 03 2008

You have become much more intense of a person this month.  You laugh more, eat more, cry more, kick way more, sleep less, and talk more than you ever had before. Oh my goodness the talking!

            In the mornings it’s usually just the two of us and we play with for a few min after breakfast then when you look like it’s time to wind down I read out loud from one of my child development books.  One morning I read that you should be cooing and gurgling and when I looked over at you, you blinked, thought about it, and made the most distinct gurgle.  A few minutes later you started cooing sentences, paragraphs even, like you were saying Hey, just let me know when you get to the chapter that says I should be walking and fixing sandwiches, I’ll be ready.

(turn up your volume for this one!)

            Something else the books say is that you should be starting to grab on to things.  So far you will hold something we put in your hand but you show absolutely no interest unless it’s someone’s finger.  You smack yourself in the face with my chapstick and then fling it behind you, but when you’ve gripped my finger my hand usually gets pulled strait to your mouth.  Sometimes though, you try to pull yourself up if you are lying down.

            You hate lying on your back.  I noticed in the hospital that you would sleep sounder when you were on your side.  When we got home, the only time you stayed asleep when you were on your back was when you were snuggled in the lap pillow we keep by the couch.  I’d put you on your back like I’m supposed to when I’d put you in your bed, but you never slept very long that way.  When you are awake it isn’t any different.  You want to be standing up all the time.  I have a feeling you’ll skip crawling and be an early walker like your mama.


            On the topic of sleep: Until recently the basic routine was that you would sleep in your own bed during day-time naps and sometimes start there at night.  You would always wake up when I got into bed so I’d bring you in next to me to nurse and snuggle.  At night you’d only sleep soundly, like at the hospital, if you were snuggled next to me and on your side.  You aren’t exactly mobile, but sometimes when you fall asleep next to me I don’t want to risk waking you so I just scoot you over and somehow within minutes you are right back at my side, head in my armpit.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I needed you there with me as much as you needed me there with you. 

Last week I put you to bed and you stayed asleep when I came in and got into my bed.  Then you were still sleeping, and still sleeping, and I was peeking over at you every few minutes waiting to see you start waking up, but you didn’t.  I tried to sleep, but I woke up every 30 minutes feeling like I had forgot something.  Finally around 2:30 you starting to wake up and when I reached over to you I breathed a “finally” and pulled next to me.  The next few nights were similar.  You slept a little longer each night and I woke up fewer times…then this weekend you seemed very uncomfortable and were a major grumplestilskin (teething? Please no, not yet) so we went back to our old routine complete with you waking up 4-5 times a night instead of once or twice. Awesome.


            This month you totally gave up on your thumb.  Instead, you try to fit as many fingers into your mouth as possible and sometimes you get one too many and sort of gag yourself.  You don’t mind though, and there is so much drool that anyone who comes near you should probably be wearing a rain coat.

            hop hop

            You turned three months old on Easter. Your first Easter!  I totally made you a basket even though you wouldn’t know the difference if I hadn’t.  I probably wouldn’t have bothered if it were just the two of us, but it’s not, grandma is here and if I hadn’t declared that I would take care of your basket she would have…

            I’m going to list what was in your basket.  Not because I think anyone reading cares, but because I want to be able to come back to this post in a few years and remember what a dorky mom I was from the beginning.

Two books: grandma picked out Tickle Monsters and I picked out Thank You Prayer

Bunny slippers

Bunny hat that aunt Kelly gave you when I was just barely 4 months pregnant

Two foam visors from Michaels that I had your aunt Martha put together for you

Yellow duck wrist rattle

Pink head bow because everyone thinks you are a boy, even when I don’t put you in blue!

A chirping chick toy from grandma

A chirping bird toy from great grandma

Big white rabbit from great grandma


            A lot of other things happened this month.  You met one of your great grandmothers, we started taking walks in the stroller every day, and you have started to laugh out loud at us.   There have been great times of singing and laughing as well as hard times of crying and spitting and I know (I know) there are days ahead that will be a million times better as well as a million times worse.  So far I knew you would have times of being uncomfortable because of gas or shots or being just plain tired, it was still hard for me to see you upset, but I knew it would be and that seemed to help.  What I wasn’t prepared for however was the packing away of the clothes you have grown out of. 

            I never sympathized with women who talked about how their babies grew up too fast.  I always thought “hey what you have now is pretty awesome too; you wouldn’t want a baby forever!”  And I don’t, I don’t want a baby forever, but I’ve already forgotten what you felt like in my arms when you were just 6lbs instead of this enormous 13lbs you are now.  The good thing is that even though I’m sad to pack away some teeny tiny onsies, I always feel better when I look at you and see you put something in your mouth or hear you babble and laugh, or reach any other milestone. 

It’s only been three months, but it’s already been three months.


Month Two

24 02 2008

Yesterday you turned two months. You are two months old. Two whole months! Since leaving my belly you have put on nearly 5lbs.  I’m not happy about that at all either; I want more time with my 6lb baby.  Speaking of my belly, remember when you were in there and all you did was kick and kick mama?  Yeah, not much has changed except that you are now kicking from the outside.  Whenever we snuggle in bed you seem to never fully stop moving and it’s usually your feet that are finding their way to my middle.  I can tell when you are sleeping, waking up, trying to poop, or wanting to eat based on the rhythm of your kicking.

            This month you found your thumb.  You had stumbled on it earlier, but now you bring your fist to your mouth with a purpose.  You don’t always succeed in getting your thumb in your mouth though, sometimes you have to settle for a finger or even just the side of your hand because you can’t quite un-clench your fist on demand yet.  I offered you a pacifier several times but you will have nothing to do with it.  You have however, fallen to sleep several times with grandpas finger in your mouth.


           You love to stand up.  You figured out how to lock your knees at about three weeks old, but now I can tell you really like it.  You calm down when I stand you up and once you stood on your own for almost 2 seconds!

You also really like baths now.  Sometimes I sit in the bathtub with you and hold your head while you float on your back and the whole time you have a giant smile on your face.  We just started making bath time a nightly ritual.  I used to bath you in the morning after you threw up breakfast, but you hold your food down better now.

We have a bit of a routine now and you are showing your personality and preferences more and more.  The morning is my favorite time because it’s just the two of us usually and you are in a fabulous mood, full of smiles and laughter.  We get up slowly and sing songs to each other for an hour or two before you fall back asleep and I rush to get a shower and breakfast.  The whole day is usually fun until late afternoon; when grandma and grandpa get home from work and your aunt is home from school you start getting agitated.  You do not like a lot of people in your face, or a lot of noises; it makes preparing and eating dinner somewhat of a hassle. Like your mama, you would rather sit back and have some quiet time than be in the middle of a commotion, but everyone else in this family seems to thrive on activity and yelling to each other from different floors of the house.



I’ve taken you shopping and out to eat several times now.  I plop you in the sling and you stay quiet, usually asleep, the whole time we are out.  People are always commenting on how good you are as if a 2 month old can really misbehave.  Still, after we get home from an outing I feel like I’ve been holding my breath because it’s always in the back of my mind that you could totally flip and turn me into that mother that gets dirty looks from all the childless men and women.  I think maybe you are behaving so calmly now because you are storing up for when you’re 14.


I know you can’t know how much I love you now, and probably won’t until you have children of your own, but I will always do my best to make sure you feel as much love as possible.

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Month One

23 01 2008

I don’t think I ever fully got used to the idea of being pregnant and now that I’m not pregnant anymore I have forgotten most of what it was like. 

Having Josephine here has been a rather surreal experience so far.  I can’t get past the feeling that I’m going to have to give her back any minute now, that she isn’t really my daughter. 

I’m trying my hardest to appreciate everyday for what it is and not let these days pass by too quickly.  She is already growing up too fast.  Grandma* is one of those people that is always anxious for what comes next; she can’t wait for Josephine to be able to get up and walk and talk.  I can wait.  This stage I can handle, I am terrified of everything else. 

The good news is that so far nearly every part of this “mama” business has been completely opposite of what I had expected.  It’s good news because I pretty much expected the worst.  Josephine rarely fusses, she is so far as healthy as can be, and nursing has been a huge success.  Grandma and grandpa have been helpful in all the right ways, almost never slipping in unwanted “assvice”.  I’ve been able to shower everyday, sit down for dinner with my family every night, and update this blog on occasion.

[rockyou id=99911556]

I’m not nearly as anxious as I thought I would be either.  I let some lady at church hold her even though I had no idea who she was other than another older woman that wanted to pinch her cheeks.  I have taken her with me to the doctor and grocery without anyone else along to help, and I don’t have a heart attack every time she cries out.

So far I have hardly even had any of the “baby blues”.  If you are someone who is skeptical of the seriousness of depression then I don’t know what to say to you except, go research.  I, however know first hand how serious depression can be and so I have been on high alert for signs of PPD and other pregnancy related depressions.  So far so good.  Hallelujah.

I’m so excited for Josephine.  There are so many people that love her.  I know I’m supposed to be talking to her as much as possible to help her learn, but sometimes when I look at her I’m at a loss for words.  By the way, she’s pretty good at staring contests.

Here is another video of the babe because how could you not want more?!:

*Grandma doesn’t like to be called ‘Grandma’.  She thinks it makes her sound too old…hmmm…I tell her that she is old, but whatever.  She hasn’t come up with anything better yet, so she is still grandma.

My favorite face

29 12 2007

my favorite face
Originally uploaded by wi77ow.

     On the 23rd I went to church with my parents and sisters like any other Sunday; later one of my sisters, my father and I went to Costco. When I came home I posted that I was totally ok with staying pregnant for a while longer (foreshadowing?) then I spent the next 2 hours or so making lunch, doing laundry and stuff around the house, and dinking around on the computer.
      4:40pm I felt a little something and went to the bathroom…once there I made the decision that I had not in fact lost control of my bladder, but my water had broken.
I was so relieved that the “gush” was on the toilet and not in the crowded aisles of Costco.
        I told my parents we needed to get to the hospital and not to panic. I had to emphasize the “do not panic” part a few times for fear they would drive 90mph to the hospital without even checking if I was in the car with them…
      The hospital was quiet, I told the nurse at the desk that my water had broke and she took some information, had me sign some papers and I was escorted to my room. My doctor was on vacation, I knew that, but some the nurses seemed confused as to which on-call doctor they were supposed to call.
       I put on the lovely gown with my ass hanging out, got the IV put in, and monitors strapped to my belly to track contractions and the baby’s heart. Every few minutes a nurse would come in and check something or another and get a concerned look on her face and say they would watch a little longer, but they aren’t getting a good reading on the heart. They switched to a monitor that screws into the scalp, but it didn’t help.
      9:30pm I was 5 cm and in loads of pain. I was told I had a good chance of having to have a c-section and so I went ahead and signed the paperwork for the epidural. Word came that the doctor, on her way in, has given the go-ahead to prep for surgery.
      Epidural was increased to super numb status (I would’ve gotten one by then anyhow) and mom put on some scrubs. I was wheeled to the OR and I was shaking, quivering, so terribly that I was asked several times if I was cold. No I’m not cold, I’m scared out of my mind! I find out that I needed the emergency section because the placenta was detaching prematurely. It’s supposed to wait for the baby to be born to start separating, but mine was already 40% separated. Yikes.
      They warn you that you’ll feel pressure and tugging, but I felt practically nothing at all. 10:30pm In one instant I heard the doctor say “It’s a girl”, heard Josephine screaming, and saw a puffy face pop over the curtain. Then I started crying so instantaneously you’d have thought it was scripted. My mother (hereafter referred to as grandma) held her after she was wrapped up so I could look into those dark eyes as I was being stapled.
       Back in my room the epidural is wearing off and I’m pretty sure I’m going to die right there. I’m hooked up to morphine, everything is fine again. I’m pretty upset when they take it away again later.
        I ask to go home on Christmas, a day earlier than I should’ve been released, and I’m given the ok…but I’m sent home with only a few percoset and motrin…and of course the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.

My Christmas

25 12 2007

My Christmas
Originally uploaded by wi77ow.

This isn’t the best picture to use as an introduction, but I wanted to hurry up and get one posted before the mob beats down my door.
This little girl is Josephine Therese, born 10:30p Dec 23rd via Cesarean section.
I will post more pictures later, along with a more detailed birth story. However I will say this, I was scared out of my mind when I was told I had to have an emergency c-section and of all the days surrounding my due date, I didn’t want to be in the hospital Christmas morning, yet this birth experience was one hundred times better than I could have hoped.
I got home this afternoon, a day earlier than most people would’ve after major surgery…everyone here is healthy, happy, and pooping like a champ…well I know one little girl who is pooping with the best of them, I won’t speak for anyone else.